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A chicken and an egg were lying in bed after just having sex. The chicken lit up a ciggarette, turned to the egg and said "Well, that answers that one."
In a train carriage there was an Englishman, a Frenchman, a spectacular looking blonde and an ugly looking fat lady.
After several minutes of the trip the train happens to pass through a dark tunnel, and the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard. When they leave the tunnel, the Frenchman had a big red slap mark on his cheek.
(1) The blonde thought - 'That French swine wanted to touch me and by mistake, he must have put his hand on the fat lady, who in turn must have slapped his face'
(2) The fat lady thought - 'This dirty old Frenchman laid his hands on the blonde and she smacked him'.
(3) The Frenchman thought - 'That Englishman put his hand on that blonde and by mistake she slapped me'.
(4) The Englishman thought - 'I hope there's another tunnel soon so I can smack that French moron again'.
A dad was driving his son home from school one day and a policeman starts following them,"oh,Shit!" the dad says.
"What does 'shit' mean dad?" his son says.
"Oh...erm...its another word for policeman". The dad and his kid arrive home and he sees that his mum is carving a turkey, "Fuck!" says the mum.
"What does 'fuck' mean?"
"Oh its another word for carve" says the mum.
The kid goes upstairs and sees that his dad is shaving. "Bollocks!"says the dad.
"What does 'bollocks' mean?"says the kid.
"Oh, its another word for chin" the dad says.
The policeman followed him home and knocked on the door and the kid answers. He says "Hello you shit. My mums fucking a turkey and my dad is shaving his bollocks."
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